As a woman who is friends with some of the most powerful and successful women out there I can share this little secret: women on a spiritual healing path will surrender pretty much everything to be free. But NOT the desire for a relationship. Even a bad one. Interesting.
Why is this so? Why do we let ourselves get distracted, codependent, drained, trapped, confused and burdened and generally abandon ourselves and our precious life missions?
There are few things quite so compelling as the promise of relationship. We want them to be lasting, fulfilling, fun, passionate and full of countless other images we have inherited from our families and culture.
The very good reason is this: our drive to heal the places we got stuck as children runs everything. Unconsciously we are driven to complete every developmental milestone there is from in-utero through birth, infancy and on. Healthy early bonding is essential for later healthy relationships and it is well known we will repeat those early relationship patterns until we learn what we need so we can THRIVE.
Successful relationships require the ability to step away from the unconscious rules of bonding in our own family. In order to do this we need insight and conscious awareness of the role we are playing and what we are trying to achieve.
HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: We are hard wired to succeed at this! We are all built for connection and caring. In Somatic Attachment work and developmental models we tap into that huge drive to connect and work with it, not against it. We quickly discover where you have gotten stuck and how we can meet those early needs so you can start moving forward again and get the connection you KNOW you need.
This year I added 2 trainings to my already somatic, multidimensional and trans-generational training background: Attachment Mastery and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. I’ve been working for years with couples and still find Systemic Constellations to be the most powerful tool out there by far. But I wanted a specific language to speak with the couples who are really stuck, often due to trans-generational trauma and disconnection they don’t know how to address.
Here is a mini quiz to help you see your attachment style. With this knowledge in hand you can begin to unravel not only where you may have gotten stuck but more importantly how to move back into connection and belonging.
This is a really fun quiz to share! Ask your friends what style they are on Facebook.