Breaking the Bond with Trauma

In Somatic Trauma To Essence Work by Emily Waymire

How To Step Out Of The Cycle Of Madness

We become a victim when we stay under the influence of Transgenerational trauma, Collective Trauma and blaming the Mother.  

This is how Collective Trauma Fields and Social Oppression are held in place. Vast magnetic Fields of unresolved grief congregate.  Victims are people who have not accepted their Fate.  These vast fields are connected with individuals in various ways. Regardless of accuracy, later “victims” who are still alive then identify with and both feed off of and are fed off of by this Field.

We refer to this as “victim consciousness”. As victims we feel innocent, just, entitled, self focused, righteous, blaming, as though we Belong…and trapped. 

This misidentification is the source of our planetary trauma. Racism, patriarchy, misogyny, classism, capitalism, genocide, war, climate interference, chronic illness, and the rapid loss of our indigenous people (who carry the true memeory of right relationship) are a result of “victim consciousness”.

Perpetrators are a form of victim. There is no difference between the two. They act together. One can not exist without the other.

Victims are people who are driven by their need to Belong. We ALL begin this way in our families. No one is free of this Drive. Nor should they be. For the sake of survival and Belonging we will commit any act that is necessary. We will give up our very Soul to belong and survive. 

We must Belong. Not belonging is death. This is also accurate energetically. When we try to exclude our families or parents we can’t functionally survive. We become mentally and physically ill. We become porous and we WILL connect to something else. Possession is a symptom of this need to connect. 

Trying to bypass this fact leads to yet more victims. People who try to spiritually bypass their Core Wound and Drive, to get to a false ideological Essence are victims and continue the cycle of the Trauma Field.

When we identify with past victims we immediately stop being in right relationship to our own Field as well as the Trauma Field, Generative Field and the inherent Order of the Universe. 

Instead of seeing the true victims, we join them in trauma. We abandon all of them, ourselves and the future people we could be serving. We continue the cycle.

Stepping Out of The Cycle of Madness

My greatest prayer is to do no harm. A state of equanimity and being in accord. I do not pray for things or try to manifest various realities. Positive Psychology and the Positive Thought movement are strategies on a vast level. 

Our ultimate goal here is to identify Wound and Drive, step out of the Trauma Field and live in our Core Self. From there you will naturally embody your Essence. And come into true accord with your Fate.

There is a very clear difference between the Trauma Field and the Generative Field. 

  • Wound and Drive exists in the Trauma Field.
  • Core and Essence exist in the Generative and Archetypal Field
  • And Truth is at the epicenter of all 

Once you can feel this difference you have the essential piece. You will have agency. And you will be able to move your attention at will. 

This is also called Sovereignty.

This is the one ESSENTIAL piece. To all healing work on any level and of every kind. 

Within the Generative Field the Core is:

  • Individuated
  • Connected to everything 
  • Neutral
  • Spacious
  • Creative
  • Solution oriented
  • Generative
  • Oriented to a wide view
  • Systems oriented
  • Clarity
  • Quiet
  • Still
  • Equanimous
  • Strong
  • Sealed
  • Not porous
  • Releases things 
  • Healthy
  • In present time
  • Open to learning
  • Lucid

Within the Trauma Field your Parts:

  • Drain
  • Obscure
  • Become porous
  • Creating conflict
  • Invite boundary rupture
  • Get stuck in trances
  • Control our behaviors
  • Resist change
  • Join victims
  • Justify injustice
  • Create further incongruency
  • Create chaos
  • Suck in
  • Create illness
  • Create addiction
  • Become compulsive
  • Stay in the past 
  • Insist they are correct
  • Connect to Collective Trauma
  • Hallucinate

Two Essential Movements

It is common to hear or read that: “It is through our wounds that we become free”, “We must go within, not away”, “We must face our fears”, “Our shadow is our strength”. 

These are great sentiments that mean nothing because we need to:

  • Be familiar with the actual feeling of that movement 
  • Bring it on as needed 
  • Actively look towards our wound as nourishment for our soul’s Purpose

In Trauma to Essence sessions we’ve seen 2 predictable and repeatable movements that break the Trauma Bond:

1) The Objective Witness

In order to break free of the magnetics of the Core Wound and Trauma Field, the wound has to be accurately named by a loving, supportive and neutral Witness. It needs to be held and seen by two or more people. Without bias or agenda.

This neutralizes the polarity and breaks the magnetic trauma bond.

Once you are familiar with this movement you can internalize it. Your own Objective Witness part will be strong enough to hold a secure frame. This is also how we internalize the positive mirroring and secure attachment of our Mother.

It is essential to not have isolation as your aim however. Too many people want to rush to be able to do their own healing on themselves. There is a balance between not looking outside of ourselves and not being isolated. 

Culturally we err on the side of extreme isolation and being vulnerable is considered a fault. We are touch deprived, unable to listen without fixing and incapable of receiving true guidance unless it is proven to us. We are also all over-stimulated and saturated. It is very hard to trust in this new world where we have overconnectivity online with strangers. 

But we do in fact need the Other in order to heal. This is a primary aspect of being human. And every Core Wound is anchored in isolation. 

I always educate clients on how to use the tools themselves. But some wounds are simply not meant to be healed alone. We NEED to heal them with someone else’s presence, knowledge and care.

 “Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fish hooks or clay pots or grinding stones.

But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.

A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said. We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”  Dr. Ira Byock

2) Our Core Essence Loves the Wound

Moving to Essence is the completed reaching out movement towards Mother. 

To Essence the Core Wound appears as nourishment, belongs and is necessary. 

It is no longer seen in any way as a “wound” and it:

a) Integrates into the system instantly  

b) Appears interesting, loveable and yes, even hopeful

Seen from the Essential Self our wounds seem fascinating, useful, beautiful and even playful and fun.

When in Essence we do not in fact perceive the Trauma Field. Because there isn’t one. The mind conjures the Trauma Field into activity. Otherwise it does not exist. The mind creates a timeline via trauma and conflict. 

It is essential to acknowledge Fields of energy to break the trauma bond.

Without a knowledge of Parts we are unable to discern our Core. When we can’t discern and stabilize in our Core we are porous, in fact need outside influence.

Introducing the Parts and Core to a Client

Everyone knows these feelings! 

Here are 3 simple ways to identify when you are in a Part:

  • Every time you are having an inner dialogue in which you are having conflicting thoughts and feelings, or are flooded by emotions
  • Anytime you are not in the neutrality, confidence, peace, zest and thoughtfulness of the Listener in Somatic Listening
  • Anytime the group agrees with a certain attitude and you can’t cooperate 

Remember Your Core is:

Contained yet connected, calm, spacious, equanimous, breathing, aware of the needs of the whole system, discerning, wise.

Parts are:

Mixed! They can be both draining and supportive. We need to know the difference and find the parts that are creating chaos. And call on the Parts that support our Core knowing.

Parts are either found in Trauma or Generative Fields.

Fields are:

What holds everything. They are spatial and can be felt and named. They are not actually subtle and we are interacting with various ones at all times.

After you have the clear feeling of that yourself you can VERY SIMPLY introduce them to their parts by using language like this:

When they share a distress:

“I hear that a part of you feels that way”

“A part of you is so scared right now”

“Your Core is so calm right now”

“That young part of you really needs a hug”

“That part of you is so protective!”

“I can feel a part of you that is watching all of this calmly”

“I can feel your strong Core when you say _________”

Keep it simple.

Trust that the seed will grow.

Stay out of their way…by trusting their innate intelligence and drive to be whole.

And watch.