The Movement of Gratitude

In Parenting, Somatic Trauma Work, Systemic Constellations by emilyLeave a Comment

Gratitude has and crucial place in healing and resolution.

We all know the feeling of having given something of true value and the receiver having deep gratitude.

And we also know the feeling of being taken for granted. When what we give falls flat.

We know the experience of being in a session and just having given someone that nugget of gold that you know could save their lives. We know it has been received when they express true gratitude, often with few words and tears in their eyes.

And we also know that they are rejecting the gold if they continue on with their problem, complaint or old story.

Gratitude is the nature of our essential self. 

It is also the ultimate balance in a world that is messy, unfair and filled with suffering. For how often have you found yourself in the position of having nothing more to give? At times when you have felt broken, hollow and drained?

These are the moments when we have two choices: return to the addiction to the trauma field, or step into the generative force of gratitude that is always available. Even at our weakest moments.

Here is an image that is relevant to every single human being and familiar to you if you are reading this:

Complaining about your parents vs boundless gratitude that you received life at all.

I invite you to now choose the path that brings you strength:

  1. Take a breath.
  2. Feel your body.
  3. Imagine your parents, grandparents and great grandparents all the way back.
  4. Tell them out loud: Thank you for giving me life. Against all odds you received life and passed it on. And I receive it now and everything that entails. You have given me everything I need to grow and thrive. Without you, and only you, I would not be here.
  5. Bow deeply to your parents and ancestors.

“Expressing genuine gratitude is another way to balance giving and taking for those who must take more than they can reciprocate. We mustn’t misuse the expression of gratitude to avoid giving other things when it’s possible and appropriate, but sometimes it’s the only adequate response; for example, for handicapped persons, for the seriously ill, for the dying, and sometimes for lovers. In such situations, in addition to the need for equilibrium, an elementary love comes into play that attracts the members of a social system to one another and holds them together as gravity  holds the planets and the stars. This love accompanies giving and taking and it becomes manifest as gratitude.

Whoever feels genuine gratitude affirms, “You give without regard as to whether or not I can repay, and I take your gift with love.” Whoever accepts such gratitude affirms, “Your love and recognition of my gift are more valuable to me than anything else you might give to me .”

With our gratitude, we affirm not only what we give to one another, but also what we are for one another.”

-Bert Hellinger

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